


M.A.L.T

by FeliciaBelle



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22331470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaBelle/pseuds/FeliciaBelle
Summary: When Lila tries to sell her lies about the Hooded Assassin on her first day of School, Tori calls her out, panicked, he ended up saying his hero-sona was dating Marinette! Now he has to live in a fake dating au that may be more than he could handle.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Canon/OC, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	1. Liar Liar

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a Valentine's Day gift for my friend Spottedbugaboo on tumblr. I've been holding this off for some time and now I actually got it started! 
> 
> (Now I just gotta work on the murder mystery au for my friend Deity-of-Calamity...)
> 
> So some notes:  
> 1\. This takes place during Volpina (Except the events are altered)  
> 2\. My Magic verse is still here with Luka being part of a coven and knowing Tori's identity (Plus Tori told him one date)  
> 3\. This is a three a.m Idea, you should know how well this is going to end

If there was one good thing about Ladybug and him knowing each other’s identity, it was the ability to make meeting up a lot easier. As of late, the two would meet up for a game night with Chloe and Sabrina – so far, it was nothing but Just Dance games and laughing at the choices the other made, all in good fun of course. As of late, Hawkmoth was probably busy with something, it’s been nearly two weeks since the last akuma attack; not that Tori was complaining, it was just one less distraction to worry about and he could finally be able to work on coven related business without having to bail last minute because Hawkmoth decided to be a dick that day. Well, coven related business and his mortal schoolwork, he was able to whip through the second and was now focusing his attention on the tome in his hands as he crossed the threshold of the school before him.

School that day was something; a new student had entered the picture. Tori didn’t bat an eyelash at what was going on in the halls, he had more important things to worry about; such as correcting the braindead teacher on another topic again, perform an aura check on the new student, and texting Luka about the next lunch date, He wasn’t certain what they were going to do, and he decided that he would worry about that when he crossed that bridge later, for now, he just wanted to get to the classroom. Today was like every other day, he was greeted to the latest gossip; some girl traveled with some prince in his private jet (what?), Jagged Stone wrote a song about some girl in their school (pretty sure he didn’t?) and some girl knowing all of the Hollywood directors (and he knew the czar of Russia, yeah right.) He was pretty convinced this school just dropped some IQ points, the only saving grace was when his girl friends had walked in and sat beside him; Chloe was ranting about how ridiculous the new girl’s stories were while Marinette and Sabrina were aggressively agreeing with her. He had to be completely honest, seeing the three bond like this actually made him grin. He just let them rant and rave about this new girl until the class started.

It was wishful thinking; he wasn’t too surprised that Caline would rather the new girl start her usual stories than start class like a responsible teacher. Tori was definitely going to trash this bitch’s career one of these days, even if he had to get Rhyme Rabbit to do the dirty job for him! He huffed and went back to his book and murmured some of the spells before him, he wasn’t necessarily casting anything - except maybe a spell to help absorb the information a lot easier or to translate a few things that were faded with time, but rather he was focused on memorizing a few death based spells.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly tell you, if I do, I could attract Hawkmoth and he’ll hurt you for knowing!” the new girl held her heart.

So then why don’t you shut your mouth, idiot? Chloe scoffed and just went back to her own homework as the new girl kept going on and on about whatever story she was conjuring up. She was too far above this stupid lying Italian, she wasn’t even going to bother getting her hands dirty unless she needed to (and she’d rather not ruin her nails, she just had them done that morning damn it!)

“Lila you can trust us!” Alya pressed on. “Everyone here can keep your secret!”

Seriously, how much of a kiss-ass was Alya? Sabrina huffed and went through her phone to start organizing the next group meetup. Tori was going to get his best friend on so they could all do a zombie campaign going and they weren’t going to let someone they didn’t know distract them from their important mission.

“Well, if you say so.” The girl, Lila, said. “I’m actually dating one of Paris’ heroes…The Hooded Assassin.”

“Like fucking hell, you are!” Tori yelled.

All eyes were on him now. Normally, he wouldn’t mind the attention as he was the class’ residential witch and he had zero filter on him; case in point: every time in class he had to snap their teacher’s head off for screwing up a simple lecture on history – last time they were on Ancient Egypt and they saw fire that day. He wasn’t entirely popular with some of his classmates after that incident (not like he cared for one second). But this wasn’t like his normal outbursts where he would come up with some rebuttal to the topic, the way he called this Lila girl out on dating the Hooded Assassin was on the personal side of things. The only one with a worried expression was Marinette, she nudged his arm and shook her head to him, trying to warn him to not get too involved, and he would have taken her advice. Would have, being the key word here, he didn’t miss that scowl on Lila’s face and an annoyed expression on Alya’s face for a second. Damn if Alya is Marinette’s friend, he still had trust issues with her after the events of Lady WiFi, may as well take both out in a subtle manner.

“I am so sorry about Tori, Lila, he doesn’t really have a filter.” Alya patted her shoulder.

“Yeah, you should see him during lessons, he’s usually tame.” Kim chimed in. “Seriously Tori, what the hell? Why would you be upset about Lila dating a superhero!”

“She’s not dating Hooded Assassin!” Tori hissed. “He’s already seeing someone and that someone doesn’t have green eyes and brown hair!”

“Well how would _you_ know?” Lila asked. “Where’s your evidence?”

“Does flying overhead and seeing him kissing a blue-haired beauty on the bridge count as evidence?” 

Tori smirked; he was dating the said blue-haired beauty too. Smooth voice, graceful guitar playing, sharing a love for Simon Curtis, and enjoying a night of marathoning shows like Criminal Minds and sharing beef bao buns together. And Luka was the only other person with blue hair next to…the dawn of realization sank in. Oh no…oh no, no, no, surely no-one was that dense to think-

“You saw the snake hero kissing Marinette!?” Rose shrieked, she covered her mouth and jumped a little bit. “The mysterious hero that never shares an interview has a lover?!” her eyes were shining now. “Oh my gosh, Marinette, why didn’t you tell us!”

Marinette blanched and looked to Tori; he had a slight panicked expression too. He did not account for this to happen! Yes, Marinette had midnight blue hair but it was borderline black hair wasn’t it? Fortunately, Marinette was able to quickly work with the situation presented to her and use it as payback. She lightly punched his arm and glared at him.

“You were spying on me?” She accused. “Tori, I thought you were better that!”

“Wait…Marinette, I thought you had a thing for Adrien?” Alya demanded. “When did this even happened?”

“Well, it was to keep the relationship a secret!” Marinette folded her hands. “I mean, I know that Spiderman basically had that working out, but this isn’t like Spiderman and Mary Jane so…Assassin told me to look into ‘crushing’ on another boy to keep Hawkmoth from targeting me!”

“That still doesn’t answer when you two started dating!”

“It was sometime after the Bubbler incident.” Oh yeah, Marinette was on a roll here. Tori was grateful, but now…he had to worry about how they were going to get out of this mess. “See, sometime after Ladybug restored everything to normal, Assassin came to my balcony and we talked then we started meeting every night and shared some sweets and update each other, then it just clicked.”

“And you never told us!”

“Listen Blogger, I don’t know what planet you’re from, but dating a superhero isn’t as simple as your silly comics make it out to be.” Chloe snapped. “Marinette was trying to protect her safety, and on her behalf, I’ll kick Tori’s ass for sharing something he wasn’t supposed to!”

Great. Now his queen was turning against him. This was going to be a long day.

*****

**Cerberus: Oh my god, how bad did you have to fuck up to cause yourself to date two people!? Does Luka know about this?**

**Snake Eater: Joey, I love you, but please shut the fuck up.**

**Music Man logged on**

**Music Man: Hey Tori, Hello Joe.**

**Cerberus: Hey Luka~ Your boyfriend is dating two people now, you and his best friend**

**Music Man: So I saw on the Ladyblog, so Assassin, what are you planning to do to fix this?**

**Snake Eater: I don’t know, I didn’t think this would happen! I said ‘blue-haired beauty’ and thought they would assume you!**

**Music Man: Well…way I see it, you have two options; Stage a breakup or just accept we have a player three.**

**Cerberus: I vote acceptance, Star Child was in divination class when I texted her and she just got back to me, she said that staging a breakup is just going to put you into a deeper grave.**

**Snake Eater: Babe, I’m amazed you’re taking this well.**

**Music Man: I am Poly ; ) and besides, this might blow over on its own. But whatever you picked I’m going to try and help you along the way.**

**Snake Eater: Thanks? I have to get going, it’s my night for patrol**

**Snake Eater logged off**

**Cerberus: You have a thing for Marinette too, don’t you?**

**Music Man: Yep. I see this as a win for me; a cute silver-eyed mage and a cute everyday ladybug.**

**Cerberus: Sheesh you Rose Garden members have no class.**

**Music Man: Says the flower boy who is crushing on Marinette’s artist friend…And never spoken a word to him.**

**Cerberus: Hey! You leave him out of this, I can admire from afar!**

**Music Man: Whatever you say, Sir Dupont, whatever you say. Now, I have to get going too…I have a chemistry test tomorrow**

**Cerberus: Ha! I’m the only free one, no work for me tonight!**

**Music Man logged off.**

The good news, the evening patrol was successful, the only bad news; there was a fucking meteor coming down onto the city as the hero was about to fly off, though there was something…off, Tori couldn’t entirely place it but there was something strange about that ball of fire. His frown didn’t go unnoticed by Marinette when he called her and Chat Noir for backup, but that would be for another conversation. As the heroes made their way to the scene and just before the meteor could hit, a girl in a neon orange and white costume with fox ears and a tail flew up to stop the said ball of hot gas and stone from hitting Paris. Once the threat neutralized, the fox girl revealed herself as Volpina, the fox hero of Paris. 

No doubt Lila was akumatized, probably she was jealous that Marinette got attention because she was dating a hero, if Tori had to guess Hawkmoth offered her ‘superpowers’ so she could have the spotlight all to herself and the love of anyone of her choosing. It was pretty pathetic and desperate if you were to ask him. Fortunately, though, one thing was for certain, they knew how Lila was; they just had to praise her for being so brave and heroic to have her drop her guard and then just snatch the akuma from her before purifying it. Quick fights were always the best because it usually meant no-one had to use their abilities!

And quick it was, just luring the faux hero to the top of the Eiffel Tower for ‘Patrol’ and giving the rundown of everything, just keeping her distracted long enough to yank the necklace from her and that was that. No unwanted fires or any illusions, it was the easiest Akumas the trio had to face. After getting Lila down safely, Assassin tried to clear the air with her by saying that his heart had already belonged to someone. He did lie and say that he thought Lila was a lovely girl and she would get the attention of any guy so there was still hope that she could find her own ‘Hooded Assassin’ outside the mask. No such luck, she just stormed off from the scene as Assassin and his allies looked at each other and shrugged, if that was going to be the way, so be it. They gave her enough chances, whatever happened next was on her. The problem was, what was Assassin going to do next? One detransformation at home, and Tori sighed. This was a tangled mess he was in and he had to think over his next plan; he could test fate and try the fake breakup or he could just accept it with his head held high. In his opinion both options sounded horrible!

“You should get some sleep.” Sass told him. “You’ll have a clearer mind when you wake up tomorrow and then you can make your next move.”

“As always Sass, you have a point.” He laid on the bed and sighed, he smiled as Teacup came running over and laying on his back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sass.”

“Good night, Tori.” Sass flew into his little blanket nest that Tori made for him and snuggled up to Nagaina for the night.


	2. A Cat's Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but, I got it done at least.

As of late, the next few days at school had been crazy. There were countless demands of Marinette providing proof of the claims that she and the Hooded Assassin were dating which of course she and Tori had to stage a few pictures together, unfortunately, that just added fuel to the fire. Sometime after that, they tried to agree to not let these claims get to them and to just ignore them – it was wishful thinking. Lila had managed to corner the duo in the lockers that morning, despite what they initially thought, granted she was still sour about them getting Assassin in on a lie they concocted, but she had a feeling there was some reason or another why they acted like this. And as the Queen of Lies herself who was she to deny her service to help others?

The plan was easy; they just had to stage a few pictures of Assassin seeing someone else, have a public breakup of Marinette calling Assassin out on cheating, and the final nail being ‘We’re through’ and all their problems will be solved! It was perfect! The duo had connections to the snake hero so it wouldn’t be hard to get this made during lunch hour and stage the breakup before school ended. Naturally, Marinette and Tori were hesitant about the whole idea, but it was their best chance – the stars were wrong before, there is no way this public breakup was going to come back and bite them! A quick message was sent to a friend who would pose as the ‘other person’ for the stage to work, and the best part; Tori was a model student and he could risk a day without mortal work – best part of being a witch and having side lessons, his aunt could always bail him out. This plan was going to work one way or another.

“You heard what Adela had said about staging a breakup.” Luka warned. 

“The stars have been wrong before.” Assassin moved his veil. “The future is what you make it out to be.”

He shrugged, that may be true in some cases, but when it came to the red string of fate, well…Fate had always been a strange mistress. Whoever she deemed were a thing, despite the how, when, and why, if Fate destined certain people were to be together, there was no fighting against it. Of course, that’s what a normal Collinswood student would believe, Luka had only done one semester at the school and he always enjoyed testing the limits with magic and the power of the coven heads (risky and stupid, but what was life without risks?) with a nod to their impromptu photographer, he had a fun session with it. And what a beautiful set of pictures they were; the classic bend back kiss, pressed close, hair playing, cuddling together. They were perfect!

Almost perfect. The public breakup went as well as anyone expected; at first the students of Francoise-Dupont believed the show before them, of course a certain metallic snitch by the name of Markov had to open his big mouth saying that the pictures were too convenient. If Lila had indeed caught Hooded Assassin cheating on Marinette, why would she take the time to take pictures of them in different romantic situation; one picture was all that was needed. After that, it was the end of their performance, the students no longer believed the act. And that’s where the trio were right now; Lila, Marinette, and Tori were in the bakery with a plate of raspberry macarons between them.

“I swear I am going to throw that robot into an active volcano.” Lila muttered.

“Not if I don’t short circuit him first.” Tori hissed.

“Break it up.” Marinette scolded. “Okay, so; the breakup didn’t work, do we have any other bright ideas? Tori, you go to school with other magic users can’t they help us?”

“I just texted the Daughters of Aphrodite, they’re the matchmakers of the magic world and everything they do is one hundred percent guaranteed.” He set his phone aside. “I can go down the long list of their accomplishments, but the point is; they’re the best in their field.”

“Think they can hook me up with a charm or two?” Lila asked. 

“Let’s worry about that after we deal with our current dilemma.” Marinette sat up. “What exactly can you tell us about their charms?”

“They primarily work with the red string of fate; use the right flower, right stone, and you got yourself a working love charm. I made one for you on Adrien’s birthday, and…well, we’re still waiting for results?”

“Oh, it worked.” She confirmed. “My heart is going crazy no thanks to you. Can you do out of love charms?”

Tori nodded. “It’s more of a curse actually.” He warned. “Curses are never something you want to trifle with, they hurt the caster more than the target.”

Both girls fell quiet. Okay, out of love charms were out of the question, but they’re not out of the woods yet. They could still find a way out of this web of lies, right?

*****

**Morning Glory: This is quite the request you’re asking of us Lord Dalimar-Shai, we had to ask Lady Aphrodite for help because of you**

**Snake Eater: Just tell me what you have**

**Morning Glory: Okay.**

**:Audio File Attached (Chapel of Love):**

**Snake Eater: NO! WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED!**

**Morning Glory: Sorry My Lord, but it looks like You, Luka, and Marinette are bound by the red string. Can’t be helped.**

“Judging by how you’re close to throwing your phone, I take it the answer isn’t what you’re looking for.” Lila smirked. “Come on, tell your favorite sister what’s wrong.”

Tori huffed. “First off, you’re still a complete stranger in my book.” He held up his index finger. “Second off, you’re right…I hate to say it but…The Goddess of Love and Beauty.” He let his shoulders sink. “The Goddess confirmed that…the three of us are bound.”

“WHAT?!” Marinette shrieked. “No disrespect to your community, but NO! No, no! Your goddess is wrong, we’re not connected – I love Adrien!”

“Well sweetheart, looks like you’re saddled with the snake and musician.” Lila shook her head. “So with this being said, what are you guys going to do about it?”

“You know what. Fine!” she slapped her hands on the desk. “We’ll have a romantic candlelight dinner, and I’ll wear my best dress, and I’m going to tell Fate she can suck it!”

“So you’re just going to aggressively agree with this idea?” Tori raised an eyebrow. “You know what, fine, I can learn to share my boyfriend. I’ll make sure he keeps the cherry chap stick off because that’s _my_ flavor and not yours.”

And that was how it happened; Assassin was out and about in the evening. Patrol night went to Chat Noir so it would be easy to meet up at a rooftop dinner with Marinette and Luka, jumping from building to building and swinging about on the flagpoles; it was calm nights like these that made it easier to get through the day, no akuma to stress about, no gossiping classmates to listen to, just him and the calm night and Chat Noir. Wait…Chat Noir. Waking up from his trance he landed in front of Chat who was leaning on his baton with a hard to read expression.

“Chat Noir, is something wrong?” Assassin asked.

“You could say.” Chat narrowed his eyes. “I heard you and Marinette are bound by the red string of fate.” His grip had tightened. “Now, I get it, Fate is weird like that and can’t be avoided but I just want to make sure of something; how do you feel about her?”

“She’s a nice girl, I was actually on my way to dinner with her.”

“Doesn’t answer my question; I’m asking you if you care about her.”

Assassin raised an eyebrow. “Chat…are you jealous? I thought you liked Ladybug?”

“I do, but Marinette is a dear friend to me.” He pressed his baton under the snake hero’s chin. “And believe me when I say, I will do anything to protect her, including against anyone who breaks her heart. You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” 

Assassin held his hand up in surrender. “Chat, I promise you as your friend and ally, I would never do anything that would break her heart.”

The cat smiled and backed off. “Good! Glad we’re in an understanding.” He patted his shoulder. “Have a nice night now, and save me some dessert!” he hurried off to finish his patrol for the evening.

Great. He just incurred the wrath of Chat Noir, Assassin rubbed his eyes and sighed; just how the hell was he going to get out of that tangled web.


End file.
